Prepare the Brisket: Trim the fat cap to ¼ inch thick. Remove any silver skin or excess fat from the top of the brisket. Talk soothingly to the meat as you do this - it helps. (Kidding. Sorta.)

Apply the Rub: Coat the brisket with a thin layer of yellow mustard (trust me on this one). Generously apply the rub to all sides of the brisket, patting it in firmly. Let it sit for about 30 minutes while you prepare your smoker.

Preheat the Smoker: Get your smoker running steadily at 250°F. Add your choice of hardwood - I use a mix of oak and cherry.

Smoke the Brisket: Place that beautiful hunk of meat in the smoker, fat side up. Close the lid and resist the urge to peek for at least 3 hours (this is where having a remote thermometer saves marriages).

The Waiting Game: Smoke for about 5-6 hours, or until the internal temperature reaches 165°F. This is where the stall usually happens, so prepare yourself mentally.

Wrap It Up: Once you hit 165°F, wrap the brisket tightly in butcher paper. Return it to the smoker and continue cooking until the internal temperature reaches 190-195°F in the thickest part of the flat. This'll take another 3-5 hours.

The Essential Rest: Remove from the smoker, keep it wrapped, and let it rest for AT LEAST an hour. Two is better. I wrap mine in an old towel and place it in a cooler.

Slice Against the Grain: Remember, the grain changes direction between the point and the flat. I slice the flat against the grain for perfect slices, and cube the point for burnt ends or just chunkier pieces.

Serve and Accept Compliments: Serve with sauce on the side (never directly on the meat - that's BBQ blasphemy), pickles, sliced white bread, and your favorite sides.